Welp, Aldon Smith got arrested again. And now he’s been cut from the San Francisco 49ers. If you haven’t been paying attention to the 49ers this offseason, you’ve missed a remarkably hellish nightmare for fans like me. And this is like the icing on the cake. Except the cake is serious rubbish and the icing is filth… With the start of the season just around the corner—the 49ers begin the season on September 14 against the Vikings on Monday Night Football—this announcement really hits hard.
Incidentally one of my favorite metal bands, Symphony X, just released their new album incorporating elements of Dante’s Inferno and Greek myths about the afterlife called Underworld. Tonight, as I’m sitting here in Paris in an obscenely hot apartment without air conditioning looking over the 49ers’ difficult schedule and their gutted roster, I’m finding this album to be altogether fitting. In the most melodramatic way I can think of, I’d like offer a few particular lyrics to express my lament about key moments from the 49ers’ offseason from Hell.
When they fired Jim Harbaugh…
Lost in shadows of what might have been.
—“Nevermore”
When Jim Tomsula was hired as Head Coach…
Abandon hope all who enter here.
—“Nevermore”
When Geep Chryst was hired as Offensive Coordinator…
Some things are never meant to be.
—“Swan Song”
When Frank Gore left for the Colts…
Put the pieces back together – nothing lasts Forever
—“In My Darkest Hour”
When Patrick Willis retired…
My darkest hour – let it be…
“In My Darkest Hour”
When Justin Smith retired…
The truth of the moment, it cuts like a knife…
—“Run with the Devil”
When Aldon Smith finally got cut…
The bridges have been burned – never to return…
—“Charon”
When Trent Baalke and Jed York try to explain their decisions…
I’ve finally realized, that long after the laughter dies,
I can’t undo the things I’ve done – oh, the things I’ve done…
—“Underwold”
When I consider the upcoming season and the return to the pre-Harbaugh era…
Here comes the horror, here comes the pain –
Flying too close to the flame
Into darkness, now falling from grace.
—“Legend”
The good news is that with the inaugural preseason game the other night football is back! I’m genuinely stoked, but as you can tell, I’m a bit worried about my 49ers. This season is gonna be brutal. But… when I, with hope, consider that the drought of 2003–2010 itself came to an end and did not last forever…
From the Nine Realms of Woe, I arise.
Vindication in my eyes
Lines of tragedy carved deep on my face.
—“Legend”
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