Just a few weeks ago, I came home from what has been a mentally and spiritually emptying season of work. The last month had been one of those seasons filled with “pound-your-head-against-the-wall” experiences, the struggle of dealing with apathy amongst your team, and numerous examples where the harder you try, the more things fall apart. After tossing my jacket and tie onto my bed, I sauntered into the living room and sunk into the couch, staring into the floor on the opposite side of the room. Sitting adjacent to me was a friend. A Christian friend. He raised his sight from his iPad, looked at me, and simply said. “Hey.” I turned to him, and replied with the same. Digesting these verbal and non-verbal responses, he then asked for my permission “looks like work wasn’t very kind to you today. Could I talk to you about it?” What then happened was something that I afterwards realized I had been depriving myself of: community, and the power of Christian conference. The lesson was this- while “a good life adorns Religion, good discourse propagates it.”[1]
For the next hour, this brother didn’t listen to me rant. He asked very specific, pointed questions. Questions about the nature of God’s character and how, if we really believe Scripture, we can see His will manifest in life’s most perplexing conundrums. He asked questions that helped me reveal my patterns of thinking. Questions that helped me see the trapped pattern of thinking and perception that mind was locked into. He asked questions that challenged me to reconcile my choices about thinking, with the realities of God’s will for a disciple.
All I can say is that during this time, I drank deeply of a well I had grown to forget. Some might identity this as community. And that’s true- I had found myself living in the rut of isolated independence. But, it wasn’t just “doing life” with another that transformed me. It was the restoring participation in Christian conference.
“Conference” is not the spiritual discipline of buying tickets to see the latest Christian Top 40 music artist and the day’s most edgy and controversial mega-church pastor in an arena when they come to town. “Conference” is a spiritual discipline, labeled by the Puritan community as:
The intentional conversation among a limited number of people in which they integrate their growing knowledge of the Bible, and their concern for one another’s soul. Emphasis is placed more on the heart issues than on external behavior, because it is the expression of the heart that drives all our actions.
Conference first begins with the Scriptures. It is conversation and questioning informed by careful meditation of the Scriptures. It is not aimless or humanist conversation. Yet, it’s not just quoting Scripture to one another. And, it isn’t a discussion about theological conundrums or deep interlocution on exegetical topics of debate. It’s a Bible-inspired world view, applied by exploring the reaches of another believer’s heart. Compared to the culture that I have experienced in much of the church today, it isn’t simply regurgitation of Scripture as a snap of the finger panacea for the souls aches. It is the caring, careful, and concerted conversation that intentionally takes conversation around the events, feelings, and experiences of one’s life, and purposefully evaluates and reflects on them with a Spirit and Scripture centered wordview.
Puritans preachers have often urged their listeners to “Come and hear, all you who fear God, and I will tell of what he has done for my soul” (Ps 66:16). Thomas Watson urged “when you meet, give one another’s Souls a visit. Drop you Knowledge, impart your experiences each to other.”
It’s funny really, that the solution for the great spiritual needs and hurts of the church, which are recognized as being matters that reside deeply within our souls, are sought to be cured with mega-conferences and mass-market speaker events. We recognize the souls issues to be narrow and deep, but we treat it with a method that by nature provides shallow by wide and far reaching penetration of souls. When we consider the teachings of Jesus in the gospels, some where “speeches” given to the masses. But, a great many are teachings made by conference, by discussion and conversation amongst the small group of the twelve (especially his interpretation of parables). Quite curious that one of the main tenants of Jesus’ earthly discipleship ministry- intentionally small group conversation, questioning, and challenging amongst the Twelve- at least to me, seems to be sorely lacking in the philosophy of ministry of most congregations today. Systems and programs seem to be the solution, when perhaps, we might be surprised what scheduling times of focused conversation might actually do for soul care.
Conference was hailed as “paradise for the soul.” If this is true, where is our effort to “let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God” in small group conversations? It is interesting that even the psychological sciences seem to understand the healing and restorative power of focused conversation. We can all envision the picture of the psychiatrists patient reclining, eyes closes, on one of those curvy sofas, with his shrink sitting in her arm-chair with pen and notepad, glasses perched on the tip of the nose, asking questions to explore one’s memories and “sub-consciousness.” Oh, the true healing that can come when such conversational intention is guided by an earnest reflection on our soul, and on God’s participation in it!
I chose to dabble on the subject of conference because I feel it is a neglected practice in the church today, especially in our social-media/ mobile device driven society that connects, but severely depersonalizes, so much of the interaction shared between believers. Perhaps conference is one missing component to our discipleship agendas that could bring about the experience of Christian community our souls may truly be starved of.
So, what does conference look like? From her sweet little book Knowing Grace, I hope to suggest a couple of questions to “keep in the holster” to exercise when spending time with your Christian brothers and sisters, and see how these pointed thoughts redeems the time of your fellowship, and fills your souls:
1) What does God want you to know about him? About Yourself?
2) For what is the soul thankful?
3) What are the words or actions that demonstrate your soul’s love for Christ?
4) What is your soul afraid of God knowing?
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