If there’s anything I’ve been habitually bad at, it’s resting. This has always seemed full of irony to me, given that I’m a Biblical Studies student. All over Scripture is talking of rest, not violating the Sabbath, looking forward to the true Sabbath, and basically a whole lot about learning that the world doesn’t depend on us, and that taking a break is necessary. Nonetheless, I’ve always caught myself inside of a catch-22: if I rest, I’m wasting valuable time that could be better used getting ahead on something else (after all, time waits for no one, right?). On the other hand, if I try to get ahead, I’m neglecting a valuable part of life that God has designed for the sake of human benefit. If I work, I’m exhausted, and if I rest, I’m lazy. Thankfully, God has made an internal notification that amounts to, “Okay, seriously, time to chill out.”
Over the past three weeks I’ve been dealing with insomnia brought on by stress (e.g. waking up 5-6 times a night and never sleeping through the night). The stress was multifaceted, ranging from familial stress to physical stress brought on by my recently brutal lifting schedule. In order to fix the problem, I had to virtually cut out all stress – no phone after 10pm, no side projects for an entire week, no studying, only lifting once that week, and no more coffee. As an added cherry on top, I also was given a new mattress topper, so I’m sure that helped.
The result of intentionally de-stressing? The first night, I slept about 11 hours, 8 hours straight and then another 3. The next night I slept about 9-10 hours, then back to a normal 8-9 hours. My mood got better, my body felt better, and the looming anxiety dissipated.
Now usually you don’t want to wait until this point to finally take a rest. Rest is something that needs to be habitual. We’re designed with rest in mind. I mean, come on, we spend roughly a third of our day asleep – and that’s a good thing! The Christian life is one characterized by joy, and while work can contain a type of joy, we must not forget of the joy that comes through resting and relaxing with the people we love doing things we enjoy. Go see a movie, or go to the beach, or go hiking – do something that brings a smile to your face and a spring to your step, and be mindful of the God who prepares these moments for you. Listen to your body about when you need a break, it’s built with the tools to tell you. It’s a wonderful thing to witness something breathtaking and be mindful that Jesus is there with you. Jesus loves us and cares for us and invites us into resting and peace, not exhaustion and anxiety.
I’m trying to let go of that American attitude of always needing to be the first to show up, last to leave, all while thinking that dedicating my life to work is a noble cause. A noble life is one that walks with Jesus, and part of that walk is resting. Resting allows us to be calm, peaceable, and ultimately loving. Scripture consistently calls us to get rid of our anxieties by giving them to Jesus, and I think that’s for more than purely theological reasons – we’re not meant to bear that stress, it’s simply not good for us emotionally or physiologically. I think I’m finally learning what it means to have a Sabbath in Jesus, in a hopefully non-cliche way, and I’m thankful that God designed the human body to alert us to improper modes of living.
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