For those who don’t know, I am getting married in about 30 days from now. The prospect of this fills me with such joy, primarily because my wife-to-be is my best friend and someone I choose not to live without. There will be so many practical benefits to our marriage: Cutting commute time in half, functionally saving up to thirty hours a month; less sleep; more sleep; building a home of our own. Yet, I am most excited because my wife-to-be will become my wife – no longer will I have to say good-bye, or drive home without her. No longer will I have to refer to her as my fiance. I hate that word. It just reminds me of Seinfeld, “The Stranded,” and baby-eating Dingos. But it also reminds me chiefly of what is not yet and what is no more.
For those who don’t know, half way through our short engagement, my father-in-law-to-be, Norm, passed away unexpectedly. Within a month, I saw my future father-in-law deteriorate physically and mentally and eventually succumb to the cancer wreaking havoc on his body. A few nights before he died, my wife-to-be and I wanted to do something that he could experience with us. We had our Pastor lead us in a time of prayer and perform a sort of “betrothal” ceremony. We wanted Norm, my future father-in-law to be involved in our wedding despite his condition. And although he won’t be there to walk his daughter down the aisle, He was there for our betrothal. As we celebrated his life a few weeks after this moment, I was reminded of how great a man he was. He was a man who loved Jesus and could not help but telling everyone about him. He loved his family well, and he loved me.
In addition to this heartache, I have had two grandparents pass away in the past 6 months as well. Both of them were amazing lovers of Jesus. One faithfully raised a family and trained them in the Lord; the other was a missionary to Nigeria for almost 20 years and faithfully cared for the international community of Biola University for a number of years. Needless to say, 2016 has been a pretty awful year.
I approach Advent with mixed emotions. This season is for rejoicing in what God has done, and waiting for him to come again. Yet, this season is really difficult for me. All is wasteland covered in a bleak and dreary haze. A cold numbness is ever upon me as I realize that all is not right and nothing will be the same. I look at the world around us, and I despair. So much death; so much injustice. And the future seems to resemble my own wasteland- bleak and hopeless. In effect, it is “always winter, but never Christmas.”
“And yet” form the beginning of my two-word prayer: And yet there is hope. And yet there is rest. And yet there is Jesus. Advent is about waiting. A long breath before the gun goes off and the race begins, that moment of stillness before the guns go off and the battle begins, that still whisper before all hell breaks loose. And yet, Advent is awaiting Heaven to break loose on Earth. It is waiting for God’s will to be done, and the swords will be beaten into plowshares. It is a great longing for Christ to return again and make all things new. In Advent, we participate in the waiting of the prophets and saints of the Old Testament, and yet, on this side of the cross, we look to Jesus our messiah to finish the work he started. We run the race marked out for us, confident in Christ to sustain us – We will indeed finish.
I believe that I am beginning to understand why marriage is compared to Jesus’ relationship with the Church. The more I long for my wedding day and all of the bliss which accompanies it, the more I long for Christ’s return. As marriage marks the ending of this season of loss, burden, and pain, so does the Resurrection and Return of Christ mark the ending of sin, pain, and death. Not simply the ceremony, but my whole marriage is caught up into the larger story of God loving his own. My marriage is but a small piece of Christ’s mosaic of redemption.
Until then, there is only Advent. There is only a season of waiting in which we are confronted with the external and internal realities of sin, pain, and death. And yet, it is fitting that the New creation is revealed in the picture of a wedding feast celebration. We meet God in matrimony, in dazzling splendor and beauty because He has laid to rest all of our enemies, broken through all of the walls, and healed all of our wounds. Until then, there is waiting with hope.
Hallelujah!
For the Lord our God the Almighty reigns.
Let us rejoice and exult and give him the glory,
for the marriage of the Lamb has come,
and his Bride has made herself ready;
it was granted her to clothe herself
with fine linen, bright and pure
Revelation 19:6-8
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