Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.
The story of the prodigal son has inspired hope in countless individuals as they have processed their religious experience. Most sermons have incorporated the passage to be primarily directed at Non-Christians, the lost, the unsaved. Some have included Christians who have wandered away from their faith and are desperate to return. They see the faith of the wayward son and are inspired to drop their debauchery, lose their licentiousness, and run into the arms of the forgiving father. However, what happens when you sin and find yourself back in the pig sty? Is this passage only for those who have only run away once?
This passage speaks at many different levels to many different people, yet sometimes it’s hard for Christians to read this with fresh eyes. You may be struggling with a certain sin, or perhaps battling general despair as your experience with God as Father is not as glorious as the one depicted in scripture. What happens when you sin? What happens when you struggle with that same sin over and over again? Is God that same father in the story of the prodigal son who rushed out to you and brought you in again? If not, that may say something to how you are viewing the father and yourself.
Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.
Reflect on this statement. Is it your statement? Is this the response of your inward heart-the deepest belief inside you? In this statement within this story, we see a snapshot of ourselves. I have been a christian for a while now, and even now, when I sin, I think these thoughts. I believe the same thing as the prodigal son: I am not worthy. I find myself acknowledging the grace and forgiveness of our good Father, but I do not choose to run to him. I am not worthy. I have to stay just a little longer in the mud and the mire to atone for my sins. I need just a little more self-depreciation and affliction to “fix” myself.
The progression of the story enlightens us to the psychology of the prodigal; his inward thoughts are laid bare in this parable. Back in his broken wandering he resolved to say this: “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Treat me as one of your hired servants.” This statement shows the reader that the son wanted to work for his father. He wanted to earn his stay and achieve his status of being in the Father’s house. His thoughts echo our own. How many times after we have sinned have we promised God that we will work harder, serve longer, and stop sinning? Surely, I am not suggesting these actions are bad in them of themselves. I am saying however, that the motives behind these actions are mistaken.
When the son does approach the father who ecstatically rushed out to him, he shortens his request. “Father I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.” Now, he does not even think himself worthy to be a servant. Neither a son or a slave, the prodigal displays his own self-rejection. He is not worthy of son-ship, of being family. he is not worthy of love, acceptance, forgiveness, reconciliation, and most profoundly, redemption.
Here, the Father speaks for the first time. There is no mocking, no shame, no rejection in his voice-only love. “Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet. And bring the fattened calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate. For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.” Here is the father’s judgement: his prodigal and wayward son was still worthy of his love and grace. Apart from and despite of his actions, the son is still accepted by his father.
What do you feel when you read these words? What thoughts rush through your mind when you hear this good news? Maybe your thoughts sound like mine:
I have run away too many times; If only you really knew what I had done; I am unworthy to be loved.
These false narratives bubble up inside me when I read this. Past sins, past hurts, present shame all afflict me as I read this story. I feel that I have played the prodigal many times over and there is just no way that the Father could still love me, could still find me worthy to save me. And these are the lies that this story confronts head on. The gospel message embodied by the person and work of Jesus confronts these very lies. God in Jesus, has chosen to be with us in our pain and brokenness. He has entered into our world, not to condemn or heap shame upon it, but to redeem it. When we reflect on our lives and actions, the enemy confronts us with lies presently or historically told to us before and he throws them in faces. “You are not good enough, pretty enough, perfect enough. You are not lovable; you are not desirable enough for God to want to save you.” Yet, this passage speaks the truth of a God who rushes to our need in order to heal us, to removes us from the grip of sin and shame, to redeem us.
Where do you find yourself in this story? Are you with the Father or back again in the pen? Maybe you have never even left the pen and have never understood what it looks like to cleansed of the mud and mire of sin and shame.
Where ever you find yourself, I hope that when you read this story you understand that it was written to you. It was written for your example of how to repent and be restored. You are the prodigal that God desires to save. Your worth and value has not been marred or destroyed by your actions. You are worthy, because your Father has given you worth. This is revealed by his commitment to himself to keep his promises and redeem you through his death, burial, and resurrection. You do not have to pay your way or earn your stay or achieve your status. That is the way of the world. The way of the gospel is different: God, in Jesus, rushes out to redeem you because he loves you.
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