Allow me to introduce myself. First and foremost, I’m a sinner saved by grace. I’m a husband and a father. I’ve been a youth leader, Sunday school teacher, deacon and elder. I served in the Air Force for thirty years. I was a three-sport letterman in high school, played college football, and played seven years of football overseas while in the Air Force. I like sports, action movies, being in control, and I would never...
My name is Donna, and I’d like to tell you about my son. Bryan is my second child, coming four years after his big brother, Jayson, and on his dad’s 31st birthday. He didn’t have a swollen and scrunched up face like some newborns, but was beautiful from the very beginning. His paternal grandfather was from Mexico and his maternal grandmother was from Ireland, and he has the features and temperaments of both cultures. As...
Since publishing my article “I’m (Kinda Sorta Yeah Not Really) Gay” last month, I’ve received a lot of follow-up questions. Not so much about the article, but about the specifics of my struggle with same-sex attraction. Here are some of the most frequently asked questions. When did you realize you were, you know, gay? If you dig through my memory box, you’ll find a piece of paper decorated with hearts and a little stick figure....
When it comes to sin (especially the darkest of them), confession is a terrifying thought. Yet, what is probably even more terrifying- and far more damaging for the church, and the individual- is to be found out. Thankfully, accountability to confession and to discipleship is available within the family of God. But, to what extent should our heart’s darkest struggles become public proclamation for world? This question is especially pointed when we consider pastors- should...
People wonder if I’m gay. I know because kids in school used to ask me. When I replied with silence, they called me a fag and went on their way. If bullies wondered about my sexuality, then so did family, friends, people at church. They were probably just too afraid (or too nice) to ask. I’ve had years to think about it: if someone asked if I’m gay, how would I answer? Saying “no” risks...
You can’t love God and hate homosexuals. On the contrary, loving God means loving gays. Really, truly, honestly loving them. (Are you listening, Westboro Baptist cult?) That doesn’t mean voting “no” on Proposition 8 or waving rainbow flags in the nearest pride parade. No, biblical love for gays is far more extraordinary. It’s a Christ-centered love that meets them in their brokenness and offers the same grace that God extended to us, even when we...
Homosexuality remains a hot topic both in and outside the church. But discussing it at length comes with two inherent dangers: either we see homosexuality as worse than all other sins, or we act as though it’s no sin at all. Last week, I responded to the first danger by reminding readers that Christians who struggle with homosexual desires are just ordinary sinners with the same extraordinary Savior. This week, I’m tackling danger number two....
Science says we can’t change our sexual orientation. Most people, from experience, would agree. Why then do we have Christians who call themselves ex-gay? Why do people who once considered themselves homosexual renounce their gay lifestyle, get married, have children, and go on worshiping God? Let’s look at two common answers: 1. Ex-gays are a myth, and those who identify as such are just “playing straight.” Religion guilts them into marrying someone they’re not attracted...
To the world, homosexuality is more than an orientation; it’s an identity. Being gay is like being black or vegan or republican. It’s part of your persona. Something to accept, embrace and celebrate. Coming out means becoming part of a community—complete with flags, parades and flashy bumper stickers. To the person who experiences same-sex attraction, the world says you’re gay. Now assume your identity. Be who you are. Jesus says there’s another way. See, Christianity...
If you haven’t heard it from Lady Gaga, you’ve heard it from those who struggle with (or embrace) homosexuality: “I was born this way.” Do you believe them? The catchphrase might match your theology more than you think. In a Christian worldview, the “born this way” theory fits squarely into the doctrine of original sin—the belief that we all inherited a sinful nature because of Adam’s sin. King David sings of being “brought forth in...
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