I love books. Books have been my faithful companions since childhood. I remember always having a book with me, no matter where I went, even if I was going to a large social gathering, I would take a book in my purse. Actually, especially at large social gatherings, I would take a book with me to avoid talking with people. Yes, I was one of those kids.
I’m also second-generation Filipino-American, and my extended family is huge – I have more cousins and relatives than I can even count – which explains why I always had to go to large social gatherings despite my reserved nature. Yet, I’m also realizing how my communal perspective of being Filipino influences the way I study and do scholarship. Studying can be a very individualistic endeavor, especially since it requires many hours in solitude. While I am introverted by nature, and I do enjoy my solitude, I have to admit, that even for an introvert, it can get lonely studying on my own for many hours at a time. I think that’s why Facebook and social media are appealing during times of study – not just as a procrastination tool, but as a way to connect with the world outside the library. Recently, I’ve been realizing more of my need for community, and also how there are communities around me, if I just take a step back and look around.
Last week, I went to the Evangelical Theological Society annual meeting in Atlanta, GA, and presented a paper in the Asian American theology track about the cultural differences between the values of first and second generation Asian Americans and how this affects our understanding of the Fatherhood of God. Even within this experience, I saw the communal influence of being encouraged by my professors to present, being able to co-write this paper with a friend, and also the support of my friends through the whole process and during the presentation. My parents also came to the conference to watch my paper presentation, which was really encouraging for me. For some Westerners, they may see this and think it a bit strange that my parents would take the time to fly out to a conference to watch me give a 40-minute presentation, but in the Filipino context – where families move together and are always with one another, this is quite normal – especially as a young single woman, my parents a want to make sure that I am taken care of no matter where I am. For some, they may see this as an infringement of my independence. Yet, in my Filipino , this is what families do, and it’s an evidence of my parents’ care and support, which I’m very grateful for. Even during this conference, I see the communal nature of academia, as people present their papers, and share their ideas, and others respond and interact with the presenters. It’s a community of people who want to challenge one another to think deeply about various issues in the realms of theology and philosophy.
While I’m grateful for my time in Atlanta, I was also reminded of why I’m studying what I’m studying after coming back to my small group. My small group is made up of college and post-college age second generation Asian Americans, and I was able to share with them about my paper, and remind them of our Good Father’s love for us, no matter what our pre-conceptions of God are based on our upbringing or cultural values. It’s moments like these that encourage me to press on during the tired and stressful times. Even when I’m alone studying, it’s helpful to remember that I’m not alone.
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