In an age of increasing tension we, as a people, seem to have lost the art of dialoguing with one another in a fruitful manner. Neither side is able to hear the others and every discussion seems to reach an impasse that is insurmountable. After reading various online comment sections such as YouTube, Fox News, CNN, and Facebook, the problem: people are simply too charitable and sympathetic towards other views in order to make any real headway. In the name of the Christian “Just Put-Them-On-Blast Theory”, let’s lay some guidelines down for conversing.
- Call out the Peters Galatians 2 style.
Often enough there will be a “Peter” who is just absolutely wrong. When someone expresses a faulty opinion like supporting an increase in minimum wage or thinking gun laws should be different between urban and rural areas there’s only one option: Light. Them. Up. There is no rational dialogue to be had here, no middle ground to be reached. Paul did not seek a middle ground with Peter over treating gentiles like second class Christians, and you shouldn’t seek middle ground nor understanding when other Christians have any divergent opinion from yours. You wouldn’t have that opinion unless you thought it was right, right? Put up a fight. Style on them in that comment section.
- Call them out in the “Paul Goes Super Saiyan” manner (cf. Galatians 5:12)
Sometimes people not only have wrong opinions, but they even share them with others! When interacting with dissenting groups like conservatives, liberals, or those conniving moderates, sometimes you need to break out the big guns. People are advocating for feeding the poor or protecting the unborn? Make sure you call them out where it hurts: unless they’re advocating for absolutely everything else you can think of that might be related, tell them they’re inconsistent and basically not Christian. If you’re feeling extra feisty, tell them to emasculate themselves. It’s cool, Paul said it.
- If all else fails, break out the 2 Peter style burns.
Are people still disagreeing with you at this point? That means that, no matter what they’re supporting, they have opposed the Gospel and you are the final bastion of hope for preserving its integrity. At this point you need to write a full blown epistle-like response calling them animals, telling them they were made specifically to be destroyed, and really drive home the point that they’re essentially the anti-Christ. Nothing says “I live out the Gospel” like shining the spotlight on the spawn of Satan.
Follow these simple steps and watch your conversations go from boring go-nowhere-snooze-fests to epic battles for the faith! Surely everyone will be grateful for your service. Now go out there and make the internet a more biblical place.
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